Was it worth it?
By Jamiel Callaway-Pinckney
July 24, 2004


As the gun was pressed against her skin she looked up at the dark mysterious form. The abnormal face and skewed expression, gave no chance to dodge the attack.  The beings finger waltzed with the trigger of the gun taunting the young ladies life.  She tried to cry and scream but nothing had come out, her throat was dry as a desert where no life would grow.  Her eyes watered as the street light above her flickered on and off.  She felt her end coming soon as the timeline would be unfinished.  There was no way she could get out of this one but she began to remember her past…

Her journey through the cervix, the smack on the bottom the bright lights and white coats surrounded her birth.  Being home with her family confused and lost but only remembering suckling on her mother’s breast as she grew.  She was now two walking and talking observing the world.  Everything thing amused her and everything seemed to abuse her.  For everything she like her parents didn’t, smacking her wrist and slapping her bottom she cried tears of confusion as her parents disciplined her wrong doings.  First day of school eating the paste, the white fluid that made her lips chapped.  She laughed and giggled as she played the game that made her spin round and round trying to catch the fake bird.  First day at school of high school the confusion and madness of thousands of people squishing through one door, she had found her friend and clinched on to him for he was her guide to where her new life would begin.  Party after party, joy after joy, smoke after smoke she was loving this guy named Roy.  He invited her into the ’76 Impala and began to touch and feel.  She seemed so helpless, as it felt bad and good there was nothing she could do but cry as the pain grew for every second she went through.  Senior now she was happy for it almost to be through, but one last party wouldn’t make a big deal.  She got in the car with her favorite crew drove on the highway and into the city.  Where she was inspired to have as much fun as she possible could, but now the fun was fear and the gay moment was grey….

She broke out of her trance as the door flew open the vigilante gliding across ground.  Pistol draw, dead aim, pulled the trigger the bullet came.  She stared at the bullet as it flew through the air going in slow motion with out a care.  She stared at the cold hard metal and began to imagine this savor of hers seemed to turn into a white dove and fly through the air piercing the skull of this mysterious bull.  The gun fell from his hands and hit the floor lying beside her, she clasped her hands around her knees and closed her eyes.  It was all over she was free but she thought was it worth it.  All these years of her life living she began to think was it all worth it.  The pain and the suffering, the confusion and madness it didn’t make sense.  She cried there in that fetal position praying to God thanking him for what he has done, giving her a new life and a new way to come.  To happiness, joy, freedom, and love she was now happy smiling with glee she began to think it was worth it to me.